Friday, August 23, 2013

Until next time...

I have come to realize a couple things.

First, is that I am completely okay with whatever my husband wants to do or doesn't want to do with this. I'm not saying I won't have fantasies, I'm saying that I don't want it if he doesn't. I do not want any of this without him. If he told me today that he would not take this further I would be disappointed and probably hurt but it's not D/s (or TTWD- whatever you want to call it) that I need, it is him that I need. I would be lost without him.

Second, I can't keep posting here without telling him. I haven't told him because I didn't want put so much on him all at once. Now, I feel like I'm doing something awful behind his back and I can't do it anymore. This realization is hard to deal with. For the first time in 20 years I'm not able to talk to my best friend and this has helped fill that void. Writing has truly helped me- I'm surprised by this because I'm a reader not a writer. I don't know when I will tell him but I want to do it soon because I think I stopping would be detrimental to my sanity.

8 comments:

  1. Hi Misty, it took a while for me to tell my husband about my blog. He was very OK about it all. Now he does it was a weight off my mind. He doesn't read here and knows it somewhere I come to get things straight in my head.
    I then made sure to reassure about anonimity and kids.
    DF

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    1. Thank you DF. I sure hope he feels the same way as yours.

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  2. good luck, Misty. I hope he sees this has been beneficial to your relationship though he didn't directly know it was a contributing factor.

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    1. You and me both! Thanks for the luck!

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  3. I didn't tell my husband at first either. Then I did and he didn't say anything really. Then he started reading it. He made a comment (in a joking way) about one of my posts and I said back to him that we don't discuss my blog. It was all light hearted but since then we don't really talk about my posts. So I can't get in trouble for anything I post.
    Good luck with telling him. It does make it a little easier to have a place to go to empty your head. Hope he sees it that way.
    Hope you're not gone long. Hugs.

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    1. It is nice to hear that your blog went over well. I haven't decided how I will feel if he reads mine. I'm going t leave it up to him but I'm with you, This should be a guilt free, say anything you want, zone.

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  4. Hi Misty!

    I'm sorry to see you go and I hope you won't be gone for long. I didn't tell hubby about my blog right away either. It was a good place for me to get my thoughts together and figure stuff out. When I finally did tell him he was like really? Can I read it? I said sure....and now he reads it all of the time. It helps us because I have a hard time saying certain things to him, so he can read my blog and know exactly how I'm feeling. Sometimes we talk about it, sometimes we don't....but he always knows exactly how I'm feeling.
    I understand that you want to do this with him and are willing to not do it if he doesn't want to. But I have to ask, do you think you will resent him later if he chooses not to do this?? I hope whatever decision you (and him) make you are happy with it. Good luck to you and hope to talk to you again soon!

    Hugs
    Subrina <3

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    1. I can only hope my blog would be that for us! I have a feeling he might take things wrong, lol, but I guess that would open the door to us talking about it.
      I have thought about if I would feel resentment and, honestly, I have no clue. I wrote a post talking a little bit about it but, obviously, I can't post it yet. I had an epiphany and can't wait to share!

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