Yesterday, I was a wreck! I kept wondering if I made an epic mistake that would ruin this great thing we have going on. I wanted to try to talk about it again and, at the same time, I wanted to ask him if we could just forget about it. I tried to keep my mind off of it but not even a 5 mile run would do the trick. I let my mind go to crazy places and I knew it was silly but come on, this is huge.
He didn't bring it up until we were in bed but thank goodness he did. I did my best to clearly explain and I think we are closer to being on the same page.
When I told him that I want him to use the control he uses in our bed outside of our bed he said, "That's all you were saying?!" Yes, you silly man! I like it when you tell me what to do and correct me when I don't! I also told him that I didn't want him to be a different person, I just want him to be him. I know he holds himself back from saying things in fear from hurting me and, up until recently, I liked that because I felt like I was winning. Many other things were said but I think you get the gist.
I know we need to talk more about punishment but I think I'm going to give him some time before we go there.
I'm relieved but curious/worried about what is going through his head.