Up until now I've blown off these opinions...
Oh you want me to put the bowl into the dishwasher like this? No, I don't think that's the best way. I'm going to load it like this. Then, I would disregard "the look" and would go about by business.
Today, I told Mr. S multiple things that I thought he should change. I wanted to explain that when he does these things, the way he does them, that it creates more work for me. It didn't come out that way. I sounded ungrateful. He confirmed how I sounded by going through everything he does to help me all the while implying that I should be doing most of these things myself. I agree with him but I got defensive anyway. The problem is that when I do them I never do it the right way. When I do things I normally don't do I get all excited and I get a big head. I deflate when I get a "You should have done it this way" or "Why did you do that when I wasn't at home" or the worst "You should have just left it." To solve the problem I just stop doing those things. So, here he is complaining that I don't do these things but yet when I do them he complains about how I do them. I can never win!
Back to topic. I told him that I will do these things but he needs to tell me exactly how he wants it done so I can do it properly. It sounded nice in my head but it came out like I was being a smart ass. I didn't want to offer in the first place (because it goes against my grain) and I was frustrated, so that's just how the words came out.
He said somethings that hurt, true things. True things always hurt the worst.
Something in me has switched. I care. I want him to be happy, more than I have ever wanted it, and it hurts that I don't make him happy. I feel like crap because I'm not able to do it right and the worst, most degrading part, is that he shouldn't have to tell me how to do it. He shouldn't have to because he has been telling me for years, I know what he wants, but yet I fail.
This is new for me. Before I didn't care.