Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Now I'm a Communicator... Kind Of

A few weeks ago I found a, somewhat, used notebook and in it, I wrote a few things to Mr. S. I didn't know if he would ever read it but I still wrote what I couldn't say. I wrote about a lie I told him because I was to embarrassed to be honest. I copied a post, I have yet to publish, that I wrote over a month ago. I wrote ideas, likes, and some wrongs that I've done. I have to say that it felt good to write those things instead of keeping them locked up, like I normally do. It's interesting how easy it is to say things with my fingers instead of my mouth.

I told him that I was writing in the notebook for him and that I wanted him to read it but he didn't have to. A week or so would go by and I would mention it again, trying not to be pushy. Three weeks later he reads it (this was a few days ago).

He seemed pretty pleased at what I wrote. It sparked a few conversations over the day, one probably turned my face red but I forced myself to talk about it, kind of. Hey, "kind of" is better than nothing right? Another, the last, was about punishment, and all of you know how that ended. 

Seeing that the notebook worked so well, I started another blog just for him. I think it will be easier than the notebook; he'll be able to read it on his phone and being here is familiar to me so I think that will help.

Also, it is a possibility that Mr. S is going to start reading this blog as well. I'm not sure I'm happy with this but I'm not going to stop him so it is what it is. I told him that I really didn't want him to read here because it would effect what I say, his solution is that he is not going to tell me when/if he reads it, but I'm sure at some point I will say something that he will have to comment on. We will see.

I might just have to write something kinky to see if that gets me a comment. :)





12 comments:

  1. Oh Misty this is great! Communication is so important and quite often it can be so much easier to write it down that talk about it face to face. I'm glad Mr. S read the notebook and that it started some conversations between the two of you.

    I think the other blog for the two of you is a great way to communicate if you find it easier to write than talk to him. I understand you being apprehensive about him reading this blog and that if may affect what you write here. Rick reads all of my posts and we have found the blog to be an excellent tool in our relationship. Reading gives him a great insight into my thoughts, feelings etc.

    I would encourage you to try not to let the fact he might read affect what you write, because you write what you feel and what you need to write and it's good for him to know these things.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. I know deeeeep down that it would be a good thing for him to read here but it makes me extremely nervous, however I'm going to do my best to stay honest and say what I want to say.

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  2. i agree with Roz. Do not let this blog affect what you write. It is great you are communicating. That is a huge step. Now, give Him time.

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  3. (((hugs))) Oh WELL DONE YOU! its so tough to do it the first time, it gets slightly easier I think but I still write to my husband - emails, texts, private blog - sometimes after nearly 20 yrs!

    I agree, don't let the fact he may be reading effect what you write. Only let it effect how politely you put ;-)

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  4. I am totally with Roz. I too find it so much easier to write certain thoughts as opposed to having to start a conversation. When i started my blog...at Master's insistence..He offered not to read, so I would feel freer to write my thoughts. I decided I wanted Him to read, hoping it would help our communication. And really, i find i do not censure myself. The separate blog is an excellent idea, also.
    hugs abby

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    1. I'm glad I'm not the only one who finds it easier to write!

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  5. I agree with Roz as well. Don't let him reading this change what or how your write. Mr. D reads every post (he signed up to get an email every time I post something). It has done wonders for us. There are a lot of things that I'm not comfortable with saying to his face. When I write on my blog I actually feel like I'm talking to all of you. Like we are all sitting around chatting and I'm telling my story. I don't hold anything back. I'm not disrespectful but I do say what I want to say. It has opened up so great conversations for us. I think it will benefit you guys if you continue doing what you're doing.

    Communication can be so hard, especially when you are talking about things that run deep within you. But if you can't share them with Mr. S (the closest person in the world to you, I assume), who can you share them with? Keep communicating. Also, like HS said....give him time!

    Subrina <3

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    1. Thank you so much for your advice!!!

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  6. I'm so happy to hear you are communicating even "kind of" is better than very little!! :)

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    1. That's what I was thinking too, baby steps are steps too and sometimes they are the hardest. :)

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