I had little faith that it would turn out good.
Well, here we are at the beginning of winter with a beautiful roof that is still intact and he managed to not fall or put a nail through his hand. He did the whole thing with his father (that has Parkinson's) and very little help from anyone else. I feel proud that he accomplished such a big task and I feel pretty shitty that I didn't have more faith in him. He is a very capable man, I should have known better, I should have trusted him.
There have been other times that I should have put more faith in Master, but life has taught me not to trust and that's not something that is easly changed.
I'm not trusting him now with TTWD. I don't have faith that he knows what he is doing.
That is going to start changing that right now. I'm going to trust that he knows what is right for us. If he chooses not to bring punishment, and the like, into our lives then I'm going to have faith that, that is the right move for us. I will not stop wanting such things, but I'm going to trust that he will add to our dynamic as needed.
If you have read my Needing Needs post then you know I have a problem with admitting I need things, and I'm learning that a repercussion of this issue is that I have a hard time telling the difference between a need and a want. I feel like the right thing is to trust that my husband will make sure my needs are met.
I don't hand over my needs easily, and I know I'm going to have a hard time at first, but I know, without a doubt, I can trust him with this.
I'm sure, at some point, possibly tomorrow, I'm going to want to take back what I've said here and I might not know exactly what I'm handing over but I think, I hope, this is the right move and that Master directs me back to this post should my thoughts falter.