Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Having Faith and Giving Trust

This year, when summer began, Master decided that he would replace our roof instead of hiring someone to do the work. I was against it. What if he fell off the roof?! What if he put a nail through his hand?! What if he did it wrong and the roof flew off with the first wind?

I had little faith that it would turn out good.

Well, here we are at the beginning of winter with a beautiful roof that is still intact and he managed to not fall or put a nail through his hand. He did the whole thing with his father (that has Parkinson's) and very little help from anyone else. I feel proud that he accomplished such a big task and I feel pretty shitty that I didn't have more faith in him. He is a very capable man, I should have known better, I should have trusted him.

There have been other times that I should have put more faith in Master, but life has taught me not to trust and that's not something that is easly changed.  

I'm not trusting him now with TTWD. I don't have faith that he knows what he is doing. 

That is going to start changing that right now. I'm going to trust that he knows what is right for us. If he chooses not to bring punishment, and the like, into our lives then I'm going to have faith that, that is the right move for us. I will not stop wanting such things, but I'm going to trust that he will add to our dynamic as needed.

If you have read my Needing Needs post then you know I have a problem with admitting I need things, and I'm learning that a repercussion of this issue is that I have a hard time telling the difference between a need and a want. I feel like the right thing is to trust that my husband will make sure my needs are met. 

I don't hand over my needs easily, and I know I'm going to have a hard time at first, but I know, without a doubt, I can trust him with this.

I'm sure, at some point, possibly tomorrow, I'm going to want to take back what I've said here and I might not know exactly what I'm handing over but I think, I hope, this is the right move and that Master directs me back to this post should my thoughts falter. 

12 comments:

  1. WOW Misty!

    What an amazing post. I could have written it. This is one of my biggest struggles with Mr. D. I'm sure you have read my posts about trusting him. This is the exact kind of trust that I'm talking about.

    It's so scary to hand over that kind of trust to him. I'm not exactly sure why....but it is! I'm just not always sure he's going to lead us in the right direction or know how to lead us. But I, like you, am going to trust him and have faith that he is doing what is best for us.

    This was a great post Misty. Thanks for sharing!

    Subrina <3

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    1. I just checked to make sure I read that post and yes I remember reading it now :).

      You would think this wouldn't be so scary, wouldn't you, but it sure is. You know, now that I think about it, I think I'm more worried than anything. I'm worried that I won't get what I want, but I'm tired of expecting it to happen, so here we are. However, even if I am worried, I do trust him and I know he will lead us down the right path.

      Thank you for your support Subrina!!!

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  2. Great post Misty! Thanks for sharing. I think the two go hand in hand. We need to develop that level of trust before we can allow ourselves to be vulnerable enough to share our needs and wants. That trust takes time to develop and changing old habits also takes time.

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    1. Thank you!

      I have a feeling this change is going to take a looooong time. I already feel like telling him "Just give me what I want, darn it!!" But I have hope that I will change :)

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  3. I agree with Rox..sharing needs makes us vulnerable...and that is so very hard...for all of us. This is a great post, one we should all come back and read.
    hugs abby

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  4. Misty, what a great post. I think Roz is correct. Before you can share all those needs a level of trust must occur.

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  5. huge great big fat ((((Hugs)))) and lots and lots of luck

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    1. Thanks mamacrow, I'm going to need the luck!!

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  6. Misty, this is such a good step for both of you. Maybe you could use a manta or affirmation statement that you recite to yourself daily and at times when you are struggling that helps you stay focused on this.

    xo

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    1. I'm probably going to have to do just that. I'm already changing my mind lol

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