Monday, April 28, 2014

A Weekend to Remember

Something amazing happened. Well, a lot of amazing happened last weekend, but something happened that hasn't happened in a really, really long time. Master and I...

WENT ON A DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By the way, we have only been out once in the last four years without kids.

And when we got home our babysitter had the kids in bed!!!!!!! 

I'm still so stunned I don't know how to properly express myself.

After Master took the babysitter home, he took full advantage of me, in a most delicious way. I was spanked. Then Master put me on my back and tied my hands over my head -clamps in their place- and Master had his fun with the camera (which I could have done without). Then Master took my ass, while the glass plug was in my pussy. It's been awhile since Master has had my butt and, I have to say, he made up for lost time. *happy sigh*

The next morning, I went off and acted like a brat, which was followed by a full helping of guilt. Thankfully, after some time, Master was kind enough to let me get on my knees and have him in my mouth. 

Last night, Master used the crop, and left me with some visual reminders that are in a lovely shade of blue.

Oh, yes, last weekend was fantastic. 

And, for those of you that might be wondering if I have had my repercussions for not Counting My Blessings, well, apparently, Master doesn't have the same lack of patience that I do...

So unfair :)

Friday, April 25, 2014

Counting My Blessings

A million years ago, Master told me that he wanted me to start counting how many times I cum each time we play, and if he was to inquire and I replied with I don't know there would be repercussions.

He hasn't brought it up in a million years, minus a few days.

Of course, after a million years, I would forget.

So unfair.

I realize that for some people this might not be a hard thing to do. And there are times when it wouldn't be hard for me, but Master really likes me cumming, so there are nights when I cum a lot. Seriously, how in the world am I supposed to remember to count when he is making me cum like that?! Especially, when he hasn't asked in a million years.

I have also been having these...moments...when...you know...I just...kind of...you know...gush...and I can't help but wonder if that counts as one or ten, or maybe that counts as something else.

Anyway, we had one of those nights--I didn't count, obviously, and of course he asked because, naturally, a million years and one day is much too long to wait for such inquiries.

To top it off, I have to wait to find out if this repercussion is really going to happen or if it one of those things he just wants to see me fret over. Sigh.

So unfair...yet I can't seem to stop smiling.

Huh, maybe unfair is a good thing. No, it can't be, can it?

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

Options for Peeps

I know you are all wondering what to do with all those leftover Peeps you got for Easter, aren't you? Well, thankfully, I have found your answer...

Oh yes, I could get into that!

And, if being made to eat ice cream while chained to a bathtub full of Peeps, isn't your thing, try roasting them over a fire...they are darn good that way as well.


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Clear Skies

Interesting thing, it may not always a good thing to hold a storm inside you. What?! You mean to tell me, you already knew that and you didn't tell me?! Humph.

The problem is, I can't tell when I should and when I shouldn't. It is not usually a good thing to let go of a storm without thinking first. Horrible things can happen, especially when the mouth isn't cooperating with the brain. Who's with me here?

I held it in as long as I could. Obviously, the problem kept growing, and I kept feeling worse about myself. Guess that could have been a clue.

Anyway, we talked. This time, the mouth and brain were in agreement, though they were both a little crazy (thankfully, Master didn't like my solution for the problem). The end result is that, we are really good, so that's great.
__________________________

I started writing this post last night and was unable to finish, which I'm thankful for because it has given me a chance to ponder where I went wrong. I couldn't figure out at what point I should have opened up and told Master what was in my head. Then it dawned on me, maybe it is never good to hold in a storm. Maybe the important thing is how the storm is released.

I just...didn't want to burden him. And truth be told, I didn't want to hear what he would say. Sometimes it is the kindest of words that send daggers through my heart.

I know, I know, communication is key, but it is not always easy...

Saturday, April 19, 2014

So, I am 'That' Type

In my attempt to ignore the storm overhead, I have been reading about my personality type. Who knew it could be so interesting to read things about yourself that you already know?

Let me give you the break down of myself...

Your personality type: INFP.
Breakdown of preferences: Mind - Introverted (79%), Energy - Intuitive (36%), Nature- Feeling (39%), Tactics - Prospecting (15%), Identity - Assertive (15%).
MIND
Extraverted ?
Introverted ?

ENERGY
Intuitive ?
Observant ?

NATURE
Thinking ?
Feeling ?

TACTICS
Judging ?
Prospecting ?

IDENTITY
Assertive ?
Turbulent ?

If you care to read a little more about this type feel free to look here. I feel that most of what the article says is true, however, if you scroll down to the bottom and click on the link for romantic relationships (or click here) I see some discrepancies; one of which is that, it says that people with this type tend to put their partners on imaginary pedestals. Ummmm, LOL! Never mind the other main discrepancy I saw--no need to get into that.

I also did a little reading on the differences in "assertive" and "turbulent," and I do agree that I am more assertive but I have quite a few turbulent tendencies as well.

Master also took the test (though you might think I was pulling his teeth out, instead of asking questions, lol), he is a ESTJ, you can read about him here.

Now, I know all of you want to take the test, and tell me what type you are, don't you?! Well, just in case you do, the link is here.


Friday, April 18, 2014

The Storm

There is a storm. The clouds have been blowing this way for days, and they are now overhead. At least this time I see them for what they are and I know better than to repeat what the clouds are thundering down at me.

I think it's a combination of things that brought this on. Mostly stress.

Parenting stress.

Wife stress.

Sub stress.

New business stress.

Family stress.

I've been doing a good job at not focusing too closely on these stresses, but something set it off and now I have a storm screaming absurdities at me.

I know it will pass, like it always does, and I will once again feel the warmth of the sun across my skin...but knowing that doesn't make it easier.


Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Making Amends

I'm sick. Blah. Not so sick I can't get out of bed, but sick enough to effect my behavior. Ugh.

It hit me about an hour ago, just how bad I was yesterday. With Master and my kids. Sure, being sick and missing my dog might be good excuses...but their really not.

I've also been thinking about how long it has been since I've ran, when all those people last year, in the Boston Marathon, lost their ability to do so and would be happy to have my legs. Go me.

I'm trying not to beat myself up too bad. But it's hard not to, you know? I was really bad and it's been a really long time since I've ran.

Anyway, I'm going to be better today and once I'm feeling better I will go run.

Tuesday, April 15, 2014

In Remembrance

A year ago today the Boston Marathon was bombed, and as a runner (never mind how long it has been since I've laced up) this tragedy particularly hurts my heart. What an awful thing to work so hard to get to that race only to have something like that happen. My heart goes out to all that where involved.

Today also happens to be a day that holds another tragedy, but one that only effects those in this house. A year ago today, we had to say goodbye to my first baby. He may have been a dog, but he was surely my baby. There are days when I do not think of him, but he is still remembered and will always be.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Say What?! Again?! Already?!

So, maybe I shouldn't have made that sarcastic remark about the pictures not turning out, in this post.

I found myself in the same spot last night (hook and all), except this time Master turned on the lights to make sure the pictures (and video) turned out. humpf. 

Yes, Master, I might have liked it, just a little, maybe.

I also found myself in a most peculiar situation last night. Master had me all tied up (which was very nice of him), then I received the hardest two whacks with Master's paddle I have yet to receive, with any spanking device. Why was I so unlucky? Because I didn't do something he asked me to do. That's right, lady's and gentlemen, I got spanked for a punishment! It left a good mark that showed up quite well in the pictures.

I have no idea why that makes me so happy. It sure didn't feel good at the time.




Saturday, April 12, 2014

A Worm on a Hook (Part 2)

The first part to the story is here.
________________________

So, I wait, yet another day. Anticipation was at its worst--or best, depending on how you look at it.

We go through the day and our nightly routine, just like every other day, except the hook kept calling me (Misty. Oh, Misty. I'm going to be up your ass soon and there's nothing you can do about it). We went to bed after watching some tv. I thought he was going to wait another night, until I heard him getting out the cuffs...then I was tempted to run away.

I took a deep breath, took off all my clothes, leaving my panties -because I know he likes to take them off- and got in bed.

While he was putting on the cuffs I tried to remember to breathe, it wasn't easy. I told Master, "Maybe we should wait for another day." I saw him smile out of the corner of my eye, which told me all I needed to know.

This is where it starts to get fuzzy.

I was on my stomach when Master bound my wrists behind my back, after which he laid the hook on my back. Master was doing something (to me? getting the lube? who knows), but all I can remember is the feel of the cold steel. I can't describe what that did to me mentally--I really wish I could.

It was in before I knew it. It didn't hurt as bad as I thought it would -our larger plug hurts much worse- and it went in much faster than I anticipated.

I think I was hogtied for a time.

I also remember the rope around my upper arms and, of course, it was attached to the hook.

I believe he pulled on the hook a few times, forcing me to put my ass in the air.

I might have been called a sexy bitch.

He did try to take some pictures, but they didn't turn out (darn it-enter sarcasm), I guess candle light wasn't enough.

At the end, he had the rope and my hair wrapped in his hand (the rope wasn't long enough to tie into my hair like he wanted), I think I kept trying to lift my head up and he kept pushing it down. Eventually, I kept it down. The feeling of the hook pulling combined with him fucking me...I wish I could describe the feeling.
___________________________

The waiting was torture, but it all played into the finale, making it that much more intense. It was an amazing night...and I can't wait to do it again.

Hookless Torture (Part 1)

As some of you may already know, Master had me order the hook last week. It would have been nicer of him to surprise me. Instead, I had to wait, for days, contemplating how he was going to use it.

I knew it was arriving on Wednesday. 

I forgot to sew. It completely slipped my mind. I mean, come on, it's a steel hook, who could think about sewing at a time like that?! Master didn't think I had a good excuse. 

The package arrived. I opened it. (What have I gotten myself into? Might have been a thought.) I put it back in the package and in our closet.

That evening, after the kids were asleep, he puts both sets of cuffs on me. I was still in my clothes. We go sit on the couch, get something on tv, and I lay my head in his lap. He put a plug in. I tried to stay focused on the show, which didn't last long because he took out a rope and proceeded to try out some ideas he had (the hook was not around). He seemed very calm. Huh. Wonder if I try it this way. Open your mouth. Now if I just...yeah, that will work. 

I was about to explode.

He finished with that and we did...other things. Fun things. Ending up in bed.

It was getting a little late, so I asked if he was going to get the hook (Yes, I asked. Think nothing of it.)

I'm tired.

Seriously, I couldn't make this up.

I had to wait another freaking day!!


So unfair.
______________________

The second part to the story is here.  

Tuesday, April 8, 2014

Blogger and Hook Problems

I don't know if anyone has noticed but, my "Blogs I Enjoy" gadget is no longer there. I was trying to update it and now it won't show anyone, so I'm giving up. I hope no one takes offense to that.

Another interesting fact about the blog, my pageviews have gone up but my post views have gone down. Not that I'm here for the views, I just found that interesting.

Oh, yes, and it turns out my impending doom hook will be here a day early (Yes, I checked. Think nothing of it. That means absolutely nothing. Nothing at all.). Then I will have to wait for Master to use it. He normally doesn't wait long, so that's good...or is it? Oh, the dilemma!


Monday, April 7, 2014

One of Those Days

Yep, it has been one of those days. One of those days that makes me wish I could have stayed in bed all day.

Master was frustrated first thing this morning. His frustration became my own. It's not that I was frustrated about the same thing, I was frustrated just because he was frustrated. Does that make sense? This is not a new thing, just something that has always been. (Now that I think more about it, I get this way with others as well; I absorb feelings, I guess you could say.) So I might have worded something the wrong way, and if that did happen Master wouldn't have been very happy about it.

I was informed today that I don't listen. Awesome.

At least I cooked a good dinner.

And I haven't thrown the kids out the window.

And I did get a lot done today.

I'm so tired. Tired of the all effing emotions. But I can't get enough. And...I'm just...I don't know...

Sunday, April 6, 2014

Tell Me...

One second I am upset and hurt, about something Master said, and the next second his hand touches my pussy, and those feelings just fly away. I even tried to keep those hurtful words in my head! But it was to no avail. 

Tell me, how in the world did that happen?! I'm thinking it was magic.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Poker Night Rambles

I've done my sewing for the day. I haven't mentioned, I started a new quilt (for my other daughter) and Master has decided I need to work on it everyday. Didn't really see that one coming. He did help me with the other one, so maybe I shouldn't be so surprised. Guess he wants to see it done before Christmas. I even have a punishment if I fail to work on it everyday (one that makes me feel like an adolescent), which has given me extra ambition to find make the time. *grin*

Five days until my impending doom hook is here. *quiver, grin, blush*

I really don't want to go to bed. Master isn't there. I'm not tired anyway. *yawn*

My kids are driving me crazy. The youngest, I can't get her to keep her darn clothes on. The eldest, can change emotions on a whim (No! I don't know anyone else like that.); she is normally nice to be around, but flip the switch and she turns into something of the unknown. She is only four, for goodness sake. *sigh*

Alright, I've started talking about the kids, that's my cue to leave. Next thing you know I will be giving you useless sewing tips.

Thinking Out Loud

A conversation that I was lucky to have yesterday, has got me thinking about how much we learn about ourselves in this lifestyle, and how lucky we are to able to explore and experience life in a way that is unorthodox. 

It is not always easy, or pleasant, to learn things about ourselves, and I believe it is harder to except them. I told you all, in my last post, that we had a night that left me feeling wrong. I believe little part of that derived from me admitting to something I might like, and further admitting to an exact way I might like it. What does that say about me?! 

I should probably add that I'm back to denying I might like it. However, no matter my angst, I am happy that I am in a position to learn these different sides of myself. And, furthermore, I am extremely happy that it is Master's job to decide when or if I do such things--what a daunting job! 

I used to see this as Master finding the best in me -the real me-, however, I think that works both ways. What I mean is, we are both finding the best parts of ourselves as a whole. Without me he wouldn't be the Master he is, and without him I wouldn't be the whore I am. We still might be dominate and submissive without each other, but what we are now is a direct result from the two of us being together--neither one of us would be the same with someone else. 

I think it is important that we, as submissives, see that we also bring out the best in our Dominates. If we are continually fighting something, we are holding them back from being that best. I realize there are real reasons to refuse things, but it is important that we take a step back and ask ourselves if our reasons are real. Embarrassment is not a real reason, just saying. Easier said than done, I know.

There is also the issue of complaining. If we are continually complaining about something, why in the world would they give us more control? Let's say Master told me I couldn't wear underwear and I continually complained about how I hated it, or that he never acknowledged that I did not wear them, or if I kept trying to find ways around it, why would he try to control me in more ways? What a pain in the ass that would be! I'm not saying we have to be happy about it, I'm saying we need to shut our mouths, do it, and go as far as thanking them for it because they are giving us what we want, which is their control. 

Note: on second thought, I'm not sure I explained the two statements above properly. I believe what I said, but there is much more to it, I think. Maybe I shouldn't have touched this one, lol.

Well, I didn't expect that to end where it did, lol, but there you go. I hope you all realize that last bit was more for myself than anyone else. 

Hope you all have a wonderful Friday evening. I will be spending mine sewing while Master is off playing poker. Yay. 

Thursday, April 3, 2014

Thankful for the Color of Change

Where to start? What to say? Things are so different! I have been trying to find a way to explain, but I'm at a complete loss. Probably because I'm still having that "have I said too much?" feeling. I would normally back away completely, but I'm trying to write through it. I think if I stayed away for too long I might not come back, and I don't want that.

Master has been making some changes, and I can't even describe how thankful I am. I think if you have been following me, especially from the beginning, you can imagine my excitement. I can barely sit still. So much is running through my head, I can't seem to get grasp on any of it. I'm just so thankful he is doing this for me. Some of these changes I would have never guessed he would want, but, again, I'm just so thankful for all of them. And I don't want to let him down.

We've had some pretty intense nights. One in particular left me feeling...wrong. I'm not going to go into details on this one, I just can't. In the moment it was great (well, up until the end, when I acted like an ungrateful brat), then I slept and woke up feeling wrong--I'm not sure how else to describe the feeling. Master said that he should have made some different choices, but I'm not so sure he did anything wrong--pretty sure this one was all me. There is a bright side, Master saw something was wrong with me and he wouldn't let it go until I talked to him. After we talked, my worries didn't seem so big, though they are still there. I don't want to feel that way again.

Last night, on the other hand, was one to remember, and I sure wouldn't complain about doing it again--or every night, lol. Master doesn't tie me up very often, it is such a treat when he does. He strategically attached some hooks to our bed (I just found some online, they are called screw eye hooks), and I have to say I'm very excited about the permanence of these hooks--and a little scared. He had me lay on my stomach and bound my wrists, then he got the cane. It was nice for about one minute :). He stuck the cane in my face just for a second, then he started very light, it was very nice. Then, WHAM! It stung so bad. After a few of those he bound my ankles, and got out his new paddle. (I'm not so sure "paddle" is the best description here, it is more like a small, squared baseball bat. It is very scary, but Master is careful and I trust him). Once he was done with that, he unbound me so I could roll over, then reattached my wrists but left my ankles free. He sat on top of me. Obviously, I wasn't able to touch his cock, but he did let me suck it for a short time. Mostly, I had watch him.

Okay, I'm starting to freak out about what I just said, so I think it is time I go. I'm going to click publish and run away now.

Note: Master has informed me that the things he attached to our bed are called eye bolts, not screw eye hooks.

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Steel Intimidation

There it is. 

And in 5-8 business days it will be here. 

So...

Yeah...

There it is.