Where to start? What to say? Things are so different! I have been trying to find a way to explain, but I'm at a complete loss. Probably because I'm still having that "have I said too much?" feeling. I would normally back away completely, but I'm trying to write through it. I think if I stayed away for too long I might not come back, and I don't want that.
Master has been making some changes, and I can't even describe how thankful I am. I think if you have been following me, especially from the beginning, you can imagine my excitement. I can barely sit still. So much is running through my head, I can't seem to get grasp on any of it. I'm just so thankful he is doing this for me. Some of these changes I would have never guessed he would want, but, again, I'm just so thankful for all of them. And I don't want to let him down.
We've had some pretty intense nights. One in particular left me feeling...wrong. I'm not going to go into details on this one, I just can't. In the moment it was great (well, up until the end, when I acted like an ungrateful brat), then I slept and woke up feeling wrong--I'm not sure how else to describe the feeling. Master said that he should have made some different choices, but I'm not so sure he did anything wrong--pretty sure this one was all me. There is a bright side, Master saw something was wrong with me and he wouldn't let it go until I talked to him. After we talked, my worries didn't seem so big, though they are still there. I don't want to feel that way again.
Last night, on the other hand, was one to remember, and I sure wouldn't complain about doing it again--or every night, lol. Master doesn't tie me up very often, it is such a treat when he does. He strategically attached some hooks to our bed (I just found some online, they are called screw eye hooks), and I have to say I'm very excited about the permanence of these hooks--and a little scared. He had me lay on my stomach and bound my wrists, then he got the cane. It was nice for about one minute :). He stuck the cane in my face just for a second, then he started very light, it was very nice. Then, WHAM! It stung so bad. After a few of those he bound my ankles, and got out his new paddle. (I'm not so sure "paddle" is the best description here, it is more like a small, squared baseball bat. It is very scary, but Master is careful and I trust him). Once he was done with that, he unbound me so I could roll over, then reattached my wrists but left my ankles free. He sat on top of me. Obviously, I wasn't able to touch his cock, but he did let me suck it for a short time. Mostly, I had watch him.
Okay, I'm starting to freak out about what I just said, so I think it is time I go. I'm going to click publish and run away now.
Note: Master has informed me that the things he attached to our bed are called eye bolts, not screw eye hooks.