A conversation that I was lucky to have yesterday, has got me thinking about how much we learn about ourselves in this lifestyle, and how lucky we are to able to explore and experience life in a way that is unorthodox.
It is not always easy, or pleasant, to learn things about ourselves, and I believe it is harder to except them. I told you all, in my last post, that we had a night that left me feeling wrong. I believe little part of that derived from me admitting to something I might like, and further admitting to an exact way I might like it. What does that say about me?!
I should probably add that I'm back to denying I might like it. However, no matter my angst, I am happy that I am in a position to learn these different sides of myself. And, furthermore, I am extremely happy that it is Master's job to decide when or if I do such things--what a daunting job!
I used to see this as Master finding the best in me -the real me-, however, I think that works both ways. What I mean is, we are both finding the best parts of ourselves as a whole. Without me he wouldn't be the Master he is, and without him I wouldn't be the whore I am. We still might be dominate and submissive without each other, but what we are now is a direct result from the two of us being together--neither one of us would be the same with someone else.
I think it is important that we, as submissives, see that we also bring out the best in our Dominates. If we are continually fighting something, we are holding them back from being that best. I realize there are real reasons to refuse things, but it is important that we take a step back and ask ourselves if our reasons are real. Embarrassment is not a real reason, just saying. Easier said than done, I know.
There is also the issue of complaining. If we are continually complaining about something, why in the world would they give us more control? Let's say Master told me I couldn't wear underwear and I continually complained about how I hated it, or that he never acknowledged that I did not wear them, or if I kept trying to find ways around it, why would he try to control me in more ways? What a pain in the ass that would be! I'm not saying we have to be happy about it, I'm saying we need to shut our mouths, do it, and go as far as thanking them for it because they are giving us what we want, which is their control.
Note: on second thought, I'm not sure I explained the two statements above properly. I believe what I said, but there is much more to it, I think. Maybe I shouldn't have touched this one, lol.
Well, I didn't expect that to end where it did, lol, but there you go. I hope you all realize that last bit was more for myself than anyone else.
Hope you all have a wonderful Friday evening. I will be spending mine sewing while Master is off playing poker. Yay.