Friday, April 4, 2014

Thinking Out Loud

A conversation that I was lucky to have yesterday, has got me thinking about how much we learn about ourselves in this lifestyle, and how lucky we are to able to explore and experience life in a way that is unorthodox. 

It is not always easy, or pleasant, to learn things about ourselves, and I believe it is harder to except them. I told you all, in my last post, that we had a night that left me feeling wrong. I believe little part of that derived from me admitting to something I might like, and further admitting to an exact way I might like it. What does that say about me?! 

I should probably add that I'm back to denying I might like it. However, no matter my angst, I am happy that I am in a position to learn these different sides of myself. And, furthermore, I am extremely happy that it is Master's job to decide when or if I do such things--what a daunting job! 

I used to see this as Master finding the best in me -the real me-, however, I think that works both ways. What I mean is, we are both finding the best parts of ourselves as a whole. Without me he wouldn't be the Master he is, and without him I wouldn't be the whore I am. We still might be dominate and submissive without each other, but what we are now is a direct result from the two of us being together--neither one of us would be the same with someone else. 

I think it is important that we, as submissives, see that we also bring out the best in our Dominates. If we are continually fighting something, we are holding them back from being that best. I realize there are real reasons to refuse things, but it is important that we take a step back and ask ourselves if our reasons are real. Embarrassment is not a real reason, just saying. Easier said than done, I know.

There is also the issue of complaining. If we are continually complaining about something, why in the world would they give us more control? Let's say Master told me I couldn't wear underwear and I continually complained about how I hated it, or that he never acknowledged that I did not wear them, or if I kept trying to find ways around it, why would he try to control me in more ways? What a pain in the ass that would be! I'm not saying we have to be happy about it, I'm saying we need to shut our mouths, do it, and go as far as thanking them for it because they are giving us what we want, which is their control. 

Note: on second thought, I'm not sure I explained the two statements above properly. I believe what I said, but there is much more to it, I think. Maybe I shouldn't have touched this one, lol.

Well, I didn't expect that to end where it did, lol, but there you go. I hope you all realize that last bit was more for myself than anyone else. 

Hope you all have a wonderful Friday evening. I will be spending mine sewing while Master is off playing poker. Yay. 

10 comments:

  1. oooo, this was a fabulous post, it had lots of thinky things in it that I'm going to have to go away and ponder!

    the complaining thing - yes. You know, for me, its that fine line between not complaining and moaning and being a pain and withdrawing and not being honest which is not at all good for us. Not sure I can even fully articulate the niceties, it's a tightrope act!

    for me, withdrawing is the greater worry, anyhow - I rather like the struggling and hating it (feeds into my masochistic tendencies I guess) and I think it's fair to say he rather likes it too when I share it (guess it nurtures his inner sadist)

    at the same time, we both get great pleasure out of me just not struggling but flying free and going with it.

    you know, i have no idea what just happened to this comment - I think i need to go to bed!

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    1. mc kitten, lol, it made sense to me!

      I think you're right, that line is thin. Take the pantie scenario, if I was to say to him in passing, "It sure would be nice to go to the store with panties on, one of these days," he would get a kick out of that, but I would be complaining. I guess there are a lot of equations to concider, many more than I have time for. Sometimes it is impossible not to nag (ugh) but it never amounts to any good, at least not with Master.

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    2. no, nagging is no good. But I find a lot of what makes something nagging is to do with timing and tone of voice - fix those and it's communication and helpful reminding! *useful face*

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    3. I'm exceptionally good at picking the wrong time! I'm learning though. :)

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  2. WOW....Master and i were just discussing this today. How we each make each better, we are who we are today, because of our relationship. He gives to me and i give to Him, and we each think the other gives more...

    I also totally get you on the complaining. If you want to get spank and you brat...you get spanked for it a couple of times....and still you brat...the spanker is going to think..why bother...it has no effect, At least i think that is what you are saying....LOL.

    hugs abby

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    1. abby, you get what I'm saying; there would be no point if there was no progress made, or even if there was progress but I continually complained about it, Master would find no point in trying.

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  3. This is a wonderful post, dear. This is exactly what makes the dynamic so exciting. When a dom finds the perfect sub, and vice versa, they do make each other whole. It is a beautiful thing. And if the sub didn't chafe at the control at time, where would the fun be. The right dom will lead the right sub just where she wants to go, whether she knew it or not.

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    1. Miss Emily, it is very beautiful and exciting. Thank you for the comment, you explained it perfectly.

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  4. Just read Emily's comment...she said it much better than i did.
    hugs abby

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    1. abby, she did explain it well, but so did you!

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