I mean, of course it's still inside me, somewhere, I just don't feel it anywhere.
Master is still Domish, so it's not him. Yesterday I told him that I didn't believe something he said and he twisted my nipple until I did believe him. He is still all, "Do this," and, "Do that," and, "That's not how you do it." And in bed he is still like, "Quit worrying about what I am doing and suck my cock," which, btw, isn't
But I don't feel submissive.
Nope. Not at all.
I've been wondering where I lost it, and the only place I can think of is here (A Case of the Crazies) and here (What Happened was...).
Oh, and turns out Master is reading here--once he told me I felt like a complete idiot for worrying that he wasn't.
This is a weird feeling. I still want to be pleasing, I still want to do what he asks, and I am doing that. But I don't feel it. I'm not sure how to explain.
Maybe I just don't feel...owned.
Hold the phone. That is something different! Was I "owned" before? Was that what it was? Is there a difference in feeling submissive and feeling owned?
Well, whatever happened, whatever it is that is gone, I want it back. I don't like feeling this way.