Thursday, June 19, 2014

A Blessing

 A few weeks ago, I wrote about how my feelings about home have changed (see here), I received a couple comments that got me thinking (it's what I do, after all) and I have finally got the time to reflect.

When we first moved here, I had an ache in my heart because I missed home. I felt like I left a piece of me there. The feeling continued but I became used to the ache, I imagine that is normal for most.

Now, that ache isn't there, at all. I have no want to move back.

I think it's because I have Master...he is more than my husband now.

It's crazy to think I have opened up more in the past ten months than I did in twelve years. It's sad actually. I should have given him more.

I mean, what does that say about me? Twelve years. TWELVE. Twelve years I kept myself from him.

I know, I know, we are not there anymore so there's is no reason to linger on such things.

I'm happy now. And I'm happy to know that no matter where I am, as long as it is with him, I will be at home. But that's kind of scary too, for reasons I'm going to force myself not to think about.

I can't help but think of a song -it's an oldie (but not that old!)- because I am so blessed and this is how it was meant to be. Anyway, here's the song...


Natalie Merchant/ Christian Burial Music © 1992
These are days you'll remember
Never before and never since, I promise
will the whole world be warm as this
and as you feel it, you'll know it's true
that you are blessed and lucky
it's true, that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you
These are days you'll remember
When May is rushing over you with desire
to be part of the miracles you see in every hour
you'll know it's true, that you are blessed and lucky
it's true, that you are touched by something
that will grow and bloom in you
These are the days
that you might fill with laughter
until you break
These days you might feel a shaft of light
make its way across your face
and when you do
you'll know how it was meant to be
see the signs and know their meaning
You'll know how it was meant to be
hear the signs and
know they're speaking to you
to you


  1. Lovely song...don't think i have heard it. Twelve years is nothing compared to the wonderful years ahead of you!!!
    hugs abby

  2. Lovely post and song. This made me smile:) I agree with Abby ... twelve years is nothing.


    1. Roz, happy to make you smile :)

  3. One of the amazing things about a D/s relationship is that both the submissive and the dominant confront who they really are. This often is painful, but in the end the joy outweighs the pain.. Concentrate on that as much as you can, dear.

    1. Miss Emily, it isn't easy. I keep thinking I'm done realizing these type of things and then, out of the blue, something else surfaces. ugh. When will it end?! lol

      It's interesting that I hadn't thought of Master going through the same thing until I read your comment...


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