I want more control from Master, what happened on my birthday has me craving more. So, something that started out selfless has turned into something selfish (sigh).
I've been concentrating on all the ways Master is not controlling me, and failing to see how he is.
In turn, I've been temped to tell him how to control me. Because, you know, that works out so well (enter sarcasm here).
At least I see the problem in telling him how to control me, right? That's got to be worth something.
It's just so hard to let things be when I want something.
I really hate to admit this, but I'm finding that I want to test him (cringe). Like leaving the dirty dishes in the sink, so he might exert some sort of control, but I can't bring myself to do it (thank goodness!).
I'm causing problems, it doesn't feel good, but I can't seem to move past it.
|Excuse me for a minute, I need to find a shovel.|