Sunday, June 29, 2014

BDSM, It's More Than What You Think

I'm not sure I have completely grasped what it means to submit (more accurately, what it means in this house) but, it's not what I thought it was going to be, that's for sure. It's so much more. It's better. But how great it is, is not what I want to write about.

I think when you start down this road, an idea forms, an idea of what ttwd is going to be like...it's nothing like that.

It's not rules. Or being polite. Or kink. Or punishments. Or sacrifices. (Well, it can be those things, but it doesn't have to be.)

It's trust. And love.

It's trusting someone with your body and mind. It's trusting someone when they say you have done good, when you think you have done bad. It's trusting someone when they say you're beautiful, when you feel like an old beat up truck. It's trusting in yourself--for more reasons than I have time. It's trusting that you are doing the right thing, when society says otherwise. It's trusting someone when they say, "You can," when you don't think you can. It's trusting that someone is there for you, even when you don't feel like they are. It's trusting you can do more/better, when you can't fathom it.

Trust is behind everything. Without it...you got nothin'.

Personally, I don't think you can have this sort if trust without love. I'm not saying you have to be in love (that would be silly for me to think that!), but love has to be there. 

Go ahead and look at the definitions for love. Don't worry, I will be here when you get back.

Now that you've done that, tell me love isn't a part of this.

It doesn't have to be a love for a person (though that's nice to have), but a love for what you're doing. If you love something -or someone- you are careful with it, you are not reckless. And that's important, always, in every type of BDSM relationship. 

Everywhere I look it's trust and love! I don't know why, but I find this amazing :) Can it all boil down to trust and love?!

Maybe that's why this is so hard in the beginning...trust and love are not easy things to do. However, we are born with the ability to do these two things, and with time we can learn to do them again. 

13 comments:

  1. I so agree, for me the trust part was,,,and sometimes still is....the hardest.
    hugs abby

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    1. abby, trust is really hard to do...

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  2. Love this! You are right. It boils down to trust and love.

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  3. Completely agree; a lovely post misty :)

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  4. Lovely post Misty and so well said. I love this!

    Hugs
    Roz

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  5. Its interesting Misty, because when i first met my Master, love was not on the cards, or perhaps more accurately love was not there initially (i dont believe in love at first sight lol) so for us our relationship was more about respect and learning to trust, which personally for me are more important than love.

    That being said, yes i love him very much, and he loves me but i dont think it has changed how we work...if that makes any sense.

    x

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    1. tori, interesting!! Maybe it is respect, and not love...but wouldn't you say that you had a love for playing, or a love for pain? Or did you have a respect for it? Because I'm not talking so much about love for a person, just love in general. For example, I love running, and I'm not going to do something that would risk hurting my legs or feet (like not having good running shoes, or running 100 miles without training for it). I'm confused now, lol. Damn over thinking brain.

      I'm really interested in this, and want to get it right, I'm not trying to prove you wrong or anything :)

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    2. Oh and, I'm so glad to see you here! I've missed seeing you around.

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