That's where I am, neck deep in quicksand.
It just keeps getting worse. And I feel so...fucking guilty for it.
Guilty because he's done absolutely nothing wrong, and still I'm upset.
I want more.
And I wonder if he does.
Because what if he doesn't?
I know these things take time. And I'm okay with time, really I am. I just have no clue what he wants, I don't know if he wants to control me to the extent that I've expressed I want. If he doesn't that is completely okay, really and truly it is, I just don't want to hope for something if it's not in my cards, you know?
And right now, that's what I feel like, I feel like I'm hoping for something he doesn't want.
But maybe he doesn't know what he wants, which is okay too.
Ugh. I've got to go.