Saturday, August 30, 2014

Books, Obsessing, and Balance

It's been awhile since I've read. Like a year. I mean I've picked up books, read a few pages, and...eh, I just have had other things on my mind (like him tying me up) and I just haven't been able to get into it. I haven't felt that urge to go off into someone else's world because, ya' know, I've been obsessed my life has been pretty exciting lately.

But I do love reading. I tend to like the supernatural kind, and I stay away from based on true stories (I figure, why read about real life when I'm living real life). Don't get me wrong, all books have their time and place (well, most do), but I like reading about places I can't go, it lets my imagination fly. Going back in time with Jane Austen -and the like- is quite enjoyable, as well.

To the point...

I took my daughters to the library the other day, and happened across the last Sookie Stackhouse novel by Charlaine Harris, Dead Ever After, and decided to check it out. I've read the previous eleven books in the series and have put off reading this last one for some reason (ahem).

I really wanted to take this one slow, being the last one and all.

I read the darn thing in two days.

But I get this way. I become fanatical about things. And when I'm in this state, it's hard to put my thoughts elsewhere--I can do it, but it's not without effort.

So I figure that's what I've been doing with D/s -obsessing about it and him- and I think maybe I've gone wrong in that.

I want ttwd to be our way of life forever -I want it to flow, and evolve, and become what it will, and never ever go away- and I want to exist for him...but I don't want to be consumed with it.

I'm probably not making any sense. lol.

I want ttwd to always be there, but I want balance, too. We need balance. It's important. Therefore, I think I need to work on that balance--to try to find a way to have D/s there, but not put so much pressure/importance on it...

I think that's what I'm trying to get at...

But it is important, so...ugh...I don't know! lol

I need to find time space in my head for everything. To find a way to have the addiction and life coexist at the same time, without letting one consume the other.

Yeah, that's what I'm trying to say...

I think.

18 comments:

  1. I get it....at first i could not get enough..i was obsessed . I still cannot get enough, but not obsessed so much. I know He is around for the long haul, i know we are soul mates, i know we have similar appetites. So now i only obsess occasionally...LOL.
    hugs abby

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    1. Abby, after thinking further, and reading the comments here, maybe being obsessed about this isn't necessarily a bad thing, and maybe healthy for me, in a way.

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  2. I do think its perfectly normal to get obsessed by it all, aka sub frenzy, im guilty of letting it all consume even now, im also like the eternal 2 year old with constant questions, like why am i like i am?, why do i like the things i do? and sometimes its difficult to just let it go and embrace the here and now.

    x

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    1. tori, so far I have forced myself not to wonder why I like this and why I feel like I need it, but give me some time and I'm sure to go there. Lol. It's nice to know I'm not the only one that obsesses!

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  3. In my opinion, being consumed by it is somewhat normal. It becomes woven into all of our actions and thoughts so I think it makes it hard not to think about it. But yes, balance and being able to focus on other things in life is important too:)

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    1. little girl, I think maybe I'm just worried that it's going to, I don't know, take me over or something...turn me into someone else. I think I've figured out why--I will try to write about it when I get time.

      I really like what you said about it becoming woven into our lives...we are still ourselves, but maybe with a little more color :)

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  4. Misty, I so get this too, and I also think it's normal to become obsessed. I also think finding that balance is also important, but it takes time ... not sure I have! I pick up on a thing/idea and become fanatical about it too.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, maybe obsession is just a side effect? :) It appears to be common anyway.

      Yay! I'm not the only one that dives right in. Lol.

      Delete
  5. I so hate it when I find a good book, and I'm all "gonna make this one last!" Betting my kids and stuff...Two days and a stack of dishes later, and it's all over!

    Yea...I guess I got distracted and fixated on one sentence...

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    1. lil, you too?! Why is it so hard to stop at one chapter?!

      That's what I tell myself, "just one chapter." Thinking that if I tell myself I can only read one, then maybe I will only read two, maybe three...half a book later...

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  6. I understand what you're getting at. It's so easy to get obsessive about D/s and throw your whole self into it, I've been there too. Heck, I still go there often. But finding a balance is important. Sir and I are definitely in a ebb pattern right now, things are relaxed and "easy" because I'm on self care protocol until my health improves. But I'm chomping at the bit to get off this restriction and throw my entire self into my submission.
    (((Hugs)))

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    1. Beth, hug!

      I think balance is important too, I need to be able to focus on other things...but maybe the key is to use the obsession as a way to focus on other things?!

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  7. I'm obsessed. I've been more obsessed in the past, but I still am. I figure balance can come later. Maybe. I just know this is a wonderful way to be.

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    1. ancilla_ksst, lol, I like the way you think.

      It is a wonderful way to live. I am much happier and I am a better person because of it, but I've got to remember there are other things I like to do. Lol.

      Thanks for reading and commenting! It's nice to see you here.

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  8. Oh I'm totally obsessed, with me, him, us, how we work, always have been! There is a little ebb and flow, thankfully, I do get other stuff done. From the outside I have a full, rich, complex and well rounded life. They're not to know what I'm thinking about most of the time, I guess!

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    1. mc kitten, thank you! Now that I know all this is common, I feel loads better! I'm now determined to be obsessed but still have a life :)

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  9. I completely get this post. I find that I go in spurts with various things in my head. I can be on a TTWD spurt where I think, google, and breathe anything having to do with this lifestyle. I DEFINITELY go on reading spurts and within my reading spurts are spurts within various genres. I also have knitting spurts, sewing spurts, etc, etc...I think you get the idea. I have always wondered about how to have more balance with all of my passions. But as McKitten stated, I think a bit of ebb and flow is to be expected. Although, in my case, I do think the ebb and flow could be more of a natural occurrence vs. the more extreme version that is typical in my life! So I get it!

    *hugs*
    Rose

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    1. Tomsrose, I do the same thing! Having kids has helped me (because they gotta eat and all), but I still get crazy when I start something. I think Master has caught onto this though--he will make me stop doing whatever it is I'm doing, after he thinks I've been at it long enough. Oh, I get SO frustrated with him sometimes!

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