I'm not exactly sure I should be writing at the moment. I don't really want to think. It could be good though.
I haven't slept in three days--okay, that's an exaggeration, but not as much of one as you might think.
I just feel so...incompetent. It's not like I'm anymore incompetent than I was a month ago, so not sure why it's such a big deal now. Maybe I'm just seeing it more clearly now? Who knows.
He says it's because I'm on my period, which ended yesterday, or was it the day before yesterday...what day is it again?
And, ya' know what makes it worse? My incompetence isn't entirely my fault. It's just...there. It is one of those things that falls under the "life isn't fair" category.
I know I shouldn't let these things get to me, but what if it never changes? It just seems like the harder I try, the worse it gets and...the more I push him away ('cause I don't feel good enough?) and...the less he touches me...and none of that fair to him, or to me.
I just need to focus on the things that are a little easier to change...yeah, that's what I need to do...