Monday, September 8, 2014

Accepting Daddy

Funny how a name -or, in this case, a name change- has altered the way I think. He is still my husband, still Master in a way, I am still me, the sky is still blue (or gray), and the world is still spinning exactly as it did yesterday, yet it's different.

As I was working this morning, focused on my task (ahem), something dawned on me, and I couldn't stop the tears.

I think part of my unease is not unease at all, it's naivety. I don't know what it feels like to have someone to protect me, to take care of me, to provide for me, to help me make the right choices, to guide me, to give me security, etc..

These things have been on his table all along, waiting for me to reach out and take them. I just didn't want to see.

At one point, a long time ago, I looked for what he wants to give me now, in those around me. Maybe it was there, maybe it wasn't, it doesn't really matter now. The point is, I want it, but it feels...odd. Like I'm stepping into new skin.

I'm going to accept that I don't think it's okay that I like calling him Daddy.

I'm going to enjoy calling him Daddy--he likes it, I like it, and that's what matters, right?

I'm going to squeeze my eyes shut, reach out and take what he has offered all along, and hope -with all the strength I have- that he will never take it away.


11 comments:

  1. Love that quote, how very true it is.

    One thing i have learnt, and am still learning, is that being enslaved isnt about what one does, its not about the kink, the sex, although those all have their place, its more about how one thinks, learning to let go of what society has indoctrinated into us of what is 'normal' and acceptable.

    Does it matter what people think? no it doesnt, but sometimes its hard not to care, be concerned about what people think....thats something i still battle with on ocassions.

    x

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  2. This post made me smile...so glad you are embracing what makes you both happy:)

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  3. Master always tells me submission is mostly about what is in my head.....Yeah for you!
    hugs abby

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  4. I just smiled! I'm so proud of you.

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  5. I'm so happy to read this Misty and so glad you are embracing what makes you both happy. Good on you!

    Hugs
    Roz

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  6. A new friend referred me to you.....this was so helpful to read. Thank you.

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  7. This is such a wonderful post, Misty. Having a Daddy type Dominant is an extraordinary thing. I list mine as Sir when I write, but in person, He is called Daddy, unless we are under high protocol for an event or other reasons. With Him being military, He actually prefers Daddy over Sir. :) Sir makes Him think of work I think. lol

    Anyway! I loved this post... that acceptance is such a wonderful thing. Good for you! hugs!

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  8. I am so happy for you! Glad you are finding acceptance.
    xoxo

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  9. Sounds like you had a break through epiphany. Now try ro relax and go with the flow knowing you are pleasing him and he surely know how big this is for you and I'm sure he'll treasure this gift even more.

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  10. (((Hugs))) that's a great quote you have at the end there, I think you're massively brave and living it! xx

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  11. To all: I really hate to reply to all of you at once, but in light of recent events, all I can say thank you for being happy for me

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