Sunday, October 26, 2014

Part of Death

I don't care much for the way death has made me feel and think.

Some moments I feel as if everything is bullshit. We all end up the same way. 

At other moments I feel as if everything is fragile and underappreciated. We only have so much time, and it goes so fast.

I'm sure there is a line between the two that I should be walking, but I can't see it at the moment.

Some hold onto religion in times like these, my grandma would have (I have family that is), but me? I don't know...I don't feel like praising the lord that she's gone to a better place.

But, I'm not here to have a discussion about religion.

I guess the point I'm trying to make is that, we all deal with it differently, and we all do things that make us feel better about it as a whole...

Because it's not just about one death, is it? It's about all the deaths, including our own, that we will endure over the course of our lives--and wondering when they will all happen and how bad it will be.

I'm trying to end this post with something more positive, something lighthearted, however with every positive there is a negative, and my heart isn't very light....

Maybe I will write something a little less morbid tomorrow, after I've slept in my husbands arms.

4 comments:

  1. I know why you posted this today...i needed to know i was not alone. I am struggling today with my mom's death...and trying to tell myself i should be over that....but i am not...and you have covered the reasons nicely. Thanks...
    hugs abby

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  2. I'm so glad you are writing your feelings out. You need too. Healing is a process. There is no time table. Hugs. Hugs. Hugs.

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  3. Hi Misty, I'm so sorry for your loss and glad you have this place to write your feelings.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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