Friday, November 28, 2014

From Fighting it, to Wanting it, and Back Again

In lieu of my most recent meltdown (and an email he probably didn't like too much) Daddy started something new a little over five days ago. 

It's really uncomfortable. It's far from easy. When it is time, I have a great urge to run away. Far, far away. 

Daddy is...he is making me...deep breath...

He is making me... talk.

About my feelings.

Everyday! 

Ugh.

Not only is he making me talk, but he has me do it on my knees, in nothing but a shirt, panties, and a plug.

Okay, I kinda like that part.

My head will be in his lap, he will play with my hair or rub my shoulders for a moment, which is relaxing. Then it starts with, "How was your day?" Which is the point when the tension in my chest builds and my legs start twitching at the ready. My answers to his questions are short, offering no more than necessary. I just want it to be over with. I would much rather write...

Not soon enough, it's over and we move on to other uncomfortable things, which moves the tension in my chest lower and the twitching in my legs higher...

Being on display kinda does that to me...

So, when it's all said and done, talking doesn't seem so terrible, however, when the next day comes to an end the whole venture starts over. Sigh.

I see the good in it and I don't want him to stop, yet it makes me crawl in my skin...

You know, until I'm back to being used like a whore, then it's all fine and dandy.

10 comments:

  1. What a wise and sensible Daddy you have.
    x L

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    Replies
    1. Thank you, little! He is pretty awesome :)

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  2. I agree with little. It is so hard to communicate but oh so important and dare I say it .. even liberating!!!

    :D

    (((hugs)))
    gk

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    Replies
    1. geekie, liberating?!?! I don't know about that! Maybe give me some time and I will change my mind...maybe ;)

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  3. This is great Misty, communication is so difficult, but so important. Love the kneeling and plug part :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Roz, no matter how uncomfortable it is, I know it's a good thing. Kneeling is quite amazing..

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  4. Honestly, I'm a little jealous. I would love nothing more than to be in a state of submission and being told to talk. It's so liberating when I finally let it all out.

    Proud of you.

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    Replies
    1. Hs, I do like it, but I still don't like talking about my feelings--thank goodness that's not all he wants to talk about!

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  5. I think communication is good even if it is difficult for you. And it shows he cares.

    FD

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    Replies
    1. FD, as much as I hate to admit it, it is good and I'd be disappointed if he stopped. It makes me feel kinda special :)

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