Thursday, December 4, 2014

Busy Being Busy

I've been busy, like just-shoot-me-now busy. It's work and the other work I do for Daddy's business. It's being sick and tired. And kids. And the mess kids make. And Christmas is coming. And I'm sure there's more, I just can't remember.

So, here I sit while there are all these things I should be doing. I just need a flipping moment to whine to myself...while the kids are off making a bigger mess.

The house needs cleaning like something fierce. However, I have to pick up all the toys (that have been scattered throughout while I've been working away on the computer) before I can even think about cleaning. Which, you know, could take a week. Sigh.

And here I sit.

We are still talking every night, with him in the chair and I on my knees. It's really nice that he does this. I was thinking that after a few days he would give up on me, but I should have known better. He'll ask how my day was, what I have planned for tomorrow, things I've done that make him happy, things I could have done better, stuff like that--which I actually like talking about. It's when he asks how I've been feeling and what my thoughts have been like, that I start to clam up. I don't know, it just feels wrong. I know it's not wrong, it just feels that way.

Anyway, better get going. Sigh. Wish me luck sanity.


14 comments:

  1. Crazy christmas. I keep making lists. They just get longer and the kids are way too excited already. Good luck with the sanity.

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    1. DF, my five year old started talking about Christmas around Halloween. Sigh. Why do stores have to put out their Christmas stuff so early?!

      Wishing you the same luck!

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  2. (((hugs))) why does it feel wrong? Does it feel wrong because you think you shouldn't be feeling what you're feeling? Or because you think HE might think you shouldn't be feeling it? Or because your feelings shouldn't matter, being on the small side of the slash?

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    1. mc kitten, part of it is that I'm worried about what he may think about me - I'm always waiting for him to run for the hills -, but this is mostly about talking about my feelings. I'm just used to keeping feelings to myself. It's hard enough to get the words to come out of my mouth, but I also have to figure out how to get them to come out the right way. I don't know, it's like my whole life I've kept things to myself, dealt with them on my own, and changing that feels wrong.

      I would like to write a post about this...if I ever get enough time. Lol.

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  3. I wish you both luck and sanity. I remember those days..i had 3 little ones under 4....some days...heck most days..left me exhausted..with seemingly nothing accomplished. It gets better. I share with you the difficulty in sharing feelings.....I wish we could both figure that one out.
    hugs abby

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    1. abby, 3 under 4?! Ugh, I need a nap just thinking about it. Lol. How is it that I can be doing stuff all day, but get nothing done?! I keep telling myself that it won't always be like this...

      Maybe one of these days we'll figure it out.

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  4. ((Hugs)) Misty, I wish you luck and sanity. Crazy time of year! Argh, why is sharing feelings so hard! Sigh.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, thanks, I'm going to need it!

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  5. Hugs, sanity and a kind note to say, you're not alone. It's been so chaotic for a lot of us it seems. I'm busy playing catch up again here, and made it a ways back in your blog. So, excuse this comment and it's randomness, I am kind of commenting on a few things in one spot. lol.

    The talking, while hard, and the tension builds as you start - it's such a good thing. :)

    Kids and the mess - remember that, if everyone is happy at the end of the day, some mess and toys scattered about isn't what will matter. I know that is hard, I am such a clean freak that I seriously wear myself out trying to keep up some days! But I often have to remind myself that it is ok to sit and do other things for awhile - or take a nice bath, blog, whatever relaxes you! :) It helps the sanity! ;)

    Have missed your posts, hopefully I will not be m.i.a again for a long while. x_x

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    1. brat, good to see you around!

      I really, really don't want to talk. I know you're right though. It's clear that keeping certain things to myself will not have a good result...

      It's so hard not to feel like I failed when things are less than the way I'd like them to be. I have to remind myself that if it was really bad, he would say something.

      A bath sounds fabulous!!

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  6. I love that idea, of the nightly sit-down like this. We used to do that. Kinda miss it, actually...

    Good luck with the house! I'm convinced that toys are kids way of trying to take out their parents without being to obvious about their deadly plans...

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    1. lil, how about you come over here and talk about my feelings and I will pack for you?

      Gasp! So that's what they've been up to!

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  7. Misty, it appears that you and I are suffering from the same "whoa is me" thing. The advice you gave me after my post (which was Sunday, the 7th, so after yours) is perfect. Talk! Talk! Talk! It's always the best advice. I also like brat's advice of taking a bath. Maybe I'll do that too!

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    1. sub hub, talking does seem to be the right thing to do, just wish it was easier!

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