I very much want to be this perfect person--a perfect mom, wife, and slave (or is wife and slave one of the same?). I know perfect is impossible to reach, but maybe if I was just a little closer to perfect I would be a little more confident...
I hate when my imperfections eat away at me.
Domino Effect, that was the title of the un-post. 'Cause that is exactly what it's like, except the first domino in my lineup is the biggest one, and falls the slowest, taking its sweet time to crash into the next. (Why is this paragraph in a different font?! It's driving me nuts.)
The thing is, I know better. I know. I really, really know better. Unfortunately, knowing and executing what I know are two totally different things.
When he pulls out that darn paddle because I've done something wrong, everything I know disappears. Knowing that I want it, turns into thinking that I don't want it. Knowing that I should hold still, turns into knowing that I need to get away (because it really freaking hurts!). (No, this has nothing to do with that first domino, but maybe one of the medium sized ones though...sigh.)
I guess it's like that with a lot of things, huh? We can go to school, learn a trade, but it's not until you're hands-on that you become what you've learned.
Daddy's words, "We're all learning here." I guess he is right, once again. Maybe I just need more hands-on experience.
Ha, ha...hands-on experience...I crack myself up sometimes.