I really, really like being tied up--a lot of sexual fantasies that go through my mind include bondage.
I really like the crop, clamps, vibrator, and anal hook.
I really like being on my knees, and hands and knees.
I really like a lot of things, but all those things include his dominance, and I'm not so sure I would enjoy them so much if they didn't.
Before D/s, I didn't really know how to enjoy sex, which had nothing to do with Daddy, as he has always been great at sex. However, when it became about him, doing it when and how he wanted, that's when I started learning how to enjoy it.
I also have non-sexual fantasies of his dominance...okay, I have a lot of these...and they get me going more than the sexual ones. No, I'm not joking.
This creates a problem...
It makes it hard to share things I want, to ask for things, because it takes away from what I crave.
"But, it is his choice to do those things or not," you say.
Yes, you're right, but it's different.
It is much more satisfying to me when he plays with me without my asking--I get off on
waiting suffering for him. The toys that we have bought, without my opinion, are much more exciting. It gets kinda ridiculous sometimes, like when I ask for something and he says okay, then I suddenly don't want it anymore because I think he's doing it just for me. Sigh.
The more he does for him (or makes it appear that way) and the more he does what I don't want, the more pliable I feel.
I like it even when I don't like it.
Actually, "like" doesn't quite cover it. I love it. I adore it. My insides melt and I become a puddle at his feet. His dominance doesn't float my boat, it makes it fly.
Daddy might find this post a bit unbelievable, given my behavior towards certain things, and really, if I were him, I'm not sure I would believe me either...
Which has got me thinking that my actions need to get in line with my feelings.