Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Just Thinking

I think my kink is his dominance.

I really, really like being tied up--a lot of sexual fantasies that go through my mind include bondage. 
I really like the crop, clamps, vibrator, and anal hook.
I really like being on my knees, and hands and knees. 

I really like a lot of things, but all those things include his dominance, and I'm not so sure I would enjoy them so much if they didn't. 

Before D/s, I didn't really know how to enjoy sex, which had nothing to do with Daddy, as he has always been great at sex. However, when it became about him, doing it when and how he wanted, that's when I started learning how to enjoy it. 

I also have non-sexual fantasies of his dominance...okay, I have a lot of these...and they get me going more than the sexual ones. No, I'm not joking.

This creates a problem...

It makes it hard to share things I want, to ask for things, because it takes away from what I crave. 

"But, it is his choice to do those things or not," you say.  

Yes, you're right, but it's different. 

It is much more satisfying to me when he plays with me without my asking--I get off on waiting suffering for him. The toys that we have bought, without my opinion, are much more exciting. It gets kinda ridiculous sometimes, like when I ask for something and he says okay, then I suddenly don't want it anymore because I think he's doing it just for me. Sigh. 

The more he does for him (or makes it appear that way) and the more he does what I don't want, the more pliable I feel. 

I like it even when I don't like it.

Actually, "like" doesn't quite cover it. I love it. I adore it. My insides melt and I become a puddle at his feet. His dominance doesn't float my boat, it makes it fly. 
___________________________

Daddy might find this post a bit unbelievable, given my behavior towards certain things, and really, if I were him, I'm not sure I would believe me either...

Which has got me thinking that my actions need to get in line with my feelings. 

8 comments:

  1. I think a lot of submissives share these feelings...i know i have them. It is hard to wrap my head around that asking is not demanding, it is informing.
    Master loves for me to ask for what i crave.....i am getting better at it, but not sure it will ever be easy.
    hugs abby

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    1. abby, he likes to know what I like and want too, which if you think about it, telling him would be submitting...it's just not the kind of submitting I want! LOL!!

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  2. Hi Misty, I agree with Abby, I think many share these thoughts about asking and I do think most Dom's do like us to ask.

    It is letting them know what we need and yes, it is up to him if, when and where. At the end of the day, the act itself is still dominance. Look at it that way :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, you are absolutely correct, but...I like my way better :).

      Okay, I could really go in circles all day on this one. Lol.

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  3. Hey sweetie!

    I also agree with abby and Roz as well here. I know I myself have so struggled with this so many times. I still do, even. x_x I find for me, if I ask permission to tell Him what i am needing/wanting/craving, it helps a little. Give it a try?

    Hugs!

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    Replies
    1. brat, I will have to try that! And I really do need to work on letting him see how much I appreciate it when he 'makes' me do stuff, I think I might come off as ungrateful sometimes...

      PS I like the new hair :) I've always wished I looked good with red hair...

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  4. I love your line I like it even when I don't like it. It shows that you want to be submissive to him and controlled by him. obeying even when you don't like it shows you want to serve him and please him and give him what he wants and you love it when he takes your body for his pleasure.

    FD

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    Replies
    1. FD, thank you! I wish my actions were a little more in line with how I feel :(

      Delete

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