I'm happy, I start to fall, I struggle, I hit the floor, I feel sorry for myself, I give up, he does something to make it seem not all that bad, and around again we go.
I'm at the feeling sorry for myself stage...okay, I'm sugar coating it, but we've been here before so I don't really need to get into it, do I?
I wish I was one of those people that likes to prove someone wrong, that is competitive, and gets it done. I'm not that though. I don't feel a need to prove anyone wrong or prove myself to others, I don't need to win. It feels really good to win, but if I don't...eh.
Daddy is that way. He doesn't normally let things get in his way. He proves he can. His focus is firm. He wins.
I don't know where I'm going with this...
I guess, I'm saying that something needs to change. I need to learn how to turn my failure into fuel, instead of mud. 'Cause it's not easy to restart a fire that's been covered in mud. And I can't expect him to do it for me...I want to be able to light it myself.