I have realized this is something I must go through. I cannot go back and I cannot go around. All detours lead right back here. Stopping is no longer an option. Forward is the the only way.
The barricade is tall, thick, and much stronger than I.
I know this because I built it to be indestructible.
There is no path to guide my way through. No light to shine the way. No maps or "How To..." books.
Which is how I wanted it.
It used to be that only uncomprehendable whispers could be heard from the monsters that slither through my mind, which left me free to ignore them. A wonderful side effect.
However, it blocked out much more than their voices. A trade I didn't know I was making. Though, had I known, I might have still made it.
Each layer that has come crashing down, brings back more of what was lost.
There is more left, lurking within the parts that haven't fallen--feared unknowns waiting their turn to expose and heal.
What lies beyond is the mystery I fear the most. What will it be like? Will I be strong enough to handle it? Will it be someone that he can love? Will it hurt?
I know not how far I have come, nor how far I have left or where I will end, I only know that I must go through.