As it turns out, he didn't like how I was acting. It's possible that I was feeling resentful towards him while beating myself up...never a good combination.
Anyway, my clothes came off, he tied my hands, and got the cane. (I think the cane and I are going to have a love/hate relationship, btw.) It hurt. And I cried. I'm not sure if it was the pain, or the feelings, or a combination of both, nonetheless it was surprising. I didn't want him to see me cry, and I tried to stop. Sure, it was humiliating but, more so, I didn't know how he would feel about it--I didn't want him to feel bad, or stop because I was crying.
I hate crying.
There was only a few, but I still have a mark from one on the back of my thigh.
After that, he kept my hands tied and did the sixty-nine thing, which I do not like, at all. (He really likes it, and I know he would prefer I like it, as well.) I didn't fight him like I normally do. It was as if my body was working on a different frequency.
I did enjoy myself, in a weird way, which I'm not really sure how to explain.
In the back of my mind I wondered if he was right for punishing me. After all, I'm not the one who made the joke, and I can't stop how I feel.
But, I can change how I act.
And, I don't have to be so down on myself.
I don't think he liked how I made him feel.
It was a humbling experience.