So, I've found myself in a state of mass confusion. More times than I'd like to admit.
What. The. Fuck. Is. Real?
My emotions get in the way of everything. Honestly, I have not a clue what happens an inch past my mind.
He says a few little words and...
After that, I totally shut down like nothing happened.
I just didn't want to feel. I wanted to go back to the way I was before. And I did, a little, but it was pretty awful.
It's just...he is my everything and D/s means nothing without him, so if it gets in our way, than I don't want it. I thought it was hurting us, which, in hindsight, is totally ridiculous.
So, after days of only talking to each other when necessary, we fought. Then we talked. Then he fucked me.
All is right again.
It is even more clear how important it is that I look to him for direction. I'm incredibly thankful that I have a man that will do what is
right left for us--he is a rock that will only move at the right time, despite the weight of my current.
And, once again, communication is so very important, even when we really, really don't want to...not sure when that is going to sink in, but I wish it would hurry up and do so!