Sunday, July 12, 2015

The (Pointless) Debate of Who is Better

I sat down, like a million days ago (which was probably more like three days ago), to write a post. I started listing off ways that I'm submissive outside of our relationship (tori gave me the idea on my last post) because I am that--a submissive person.

Anyway, while I was listing, I got to wondering...

Will someone find my natural submissiveness offensive in some way? Will someone think that I'm bragging? Will they see me as weak or as a pushover?

'Cause that's a thing right? Natural versus not natural, submissive versus slave, etcetera, etcetera.
People thinking they are better than the next, because their way is the best way.
People thinking they are superior because they "do more" or do it the "right way", or even because they "would never do that".

This has to be one of the stupidest things. Ever.

This is not a competition. There are no ladders here -within and between labels-, there are only ladders within ourselves.

A sub is no less of a person, no less of a partner, than a slave--and vise versa.

A slave isn't more of a slave because they are more willing or have more rules.

Just because something isn't right for you, doesn't mean it isn't right for me.

We are just...different.

We are only human, therefore judgments such as this will come from the best of us, but it's still pretty stupid.

And that's that.

Now, just bear with me for another million days and I'll finish that post ;)


  1. I so very much agree with you. There have been times i have changed a post because i feared some would think i was preaching that my...Our...was is best. I find i often add....this works for us...I wish everyone would chill out and realize......what works for you and your matter what you call it, no matter how you do what is right for YOU!
    hugs abby

    1. abby, exactly!

      I have nothing else to add :)

  2. I agree Misty, there is no right way or better way. It's about what works for each of us and our relationships.


    1. Roz, it's crazy to think it would be the same for everyone! I love getting advice, and boy do I need it, but just realize it may not work that way for me.

  3. I wrote a whole long comment slowly on my phone then it disappeared. Grrr The short of it was i agree. Just be yourself. Love your partner the best way you can. They will love you for being real

    1. Linda, it is so frustrating when blogger does that! And it's always the meaningful comments.

      There is definitely something to being yourself and keeping it's not always easy, but the outcome is worth it.

  4. I am naturally submissive which makes it very hard in a my role at work. Everywhere else I am learning to embrace my submission. I think it's important that we be true to ourselves and be the person that males us happy, regardless of what others think. Hugs xo

    1. little girl, employement is my main example of how I am submissive. I've never wanted a management position, I could do it, but I don't think I would enjoy it (well, besides the money, lol).

      We don't have a whole lot of time to be here, and what time we have goes so freakin' fast, it would be a shame to not be ourselves..but it's not always easy! :)

  5. Loved this Misty, and its very apt timing as im trying (not going to well) to write a similar train of thought myself in response to a question i received.

    I believe no one is better than anyone else regardless of whatever label they give themselves, we all do it the way that works for us, and that is all that matters.


    1. tori, it's not an easy subject...or maybe I should say it's a touchy and highly opinionated subject. Lol. I wanted to say a lot more...


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