I tried out a new recipe last night for dinner, which he really liked.
Now, I feel like I should say, this doesn't happen often (he has quite the opinion when it comes to food and I might be a bit of an adventurer), so it's very rewarding when it works out (even if the kid's don't like it).
I didn't feel the reward this time, despite his praise.
I feel alone.
I still haven't talked to him.
He is busy, which is awesome, but that means he is tired and has a million other things on his mind. And I'm tired, so tired.
And I don't wanna talk, so I'm finding excuses not to.
I'm also finding excuses not to do the sex thing. *head to desk* *head to desk* *head to desk*
I keep thinking about how this (talking about this want/need/whatever-it-is) has worked out in the past... Maybe I didn't bring things up in the best of ways, maybe he could have responded differently...maybe we could have both handled it differently.
I know we aren't where we were then, so maybe it would turn out differently. But, maybe it won't, which is enough reason for me to keep my mouth shut. Because how I feel now isn't near as hard as that was.
Ugh. What a mess I've created in my head...
I've tried so hard to shake this. I've tried to keep my mind on other things--I added running back into my workouts (and was even reminded why I love it), meal planning, travel planning, starting school planning (I'm so not ready for this...she's still a baby! Okay, she's five, but still!!), dressing nice for him, the list goes on...but, it's still there, nagging away.