Thursday, October 22, 2015

Only Vanilla?

I found a list of submissive writing prompts here and thought I'd give this one a try...
Describe what it would look like if you and your Master decided to have a vanilla-only relationship. What would change? What would stay the same? How would you feel?
Daddy and I have been together for fourteen years, the first twelve were vanilla and, despite moments like this one, I'm 100% sure I would never decide to go back, however should "never" happen...

It would be like taking paint brushes away from a painter or words away from a writer. 
It would be like cutting a tree at its base and expecting it to put down new roots in another climate. 
It would look bleak. 

We are both so happy this way, so much has changed and much would change if we went back. 

There wouldn't be vulnerability or emotional roller coasters, which, at first thought, might not be so bad, however there is great benefit for enduring them. 

There is also sex to think about. Sex makes Daddy so happy. Give the man sports and sex and he will be in heaven. Sex without dominance just doesn't work for me. The relief and joy of finding a way to make sex "work" has been life changing. I can't begin to tell you how heavy the guilt was from all those sexless nights when I knew he wanted it. I can't begin to tell you how important it is to me that I never go back to that. I will not let him down like that again, but if you take away dominance...

I'm sure there are things that would stay the same. I mean, it's not like he would start cleaning the toilets or mopping the floor. He would still be in control of the money. I would still shave. I guess a lot of things would stay the same, yet they would all have a different meaning behind them...they wouldn't have any meaning behind them.

I think it's pretty clear I would be miserable in a vanilla life.

To never again see that smile on his face or gleam in his eyes, to never again feel the collar around my neck or his hand squeezing my throat, to never again feel him hugging my soul, would be to leave me in a sunless desert with no water. 


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