I'm getting used to it though--my roots have settled in and are adapting. I
I told him that I might like orgasm denial...and the sky didn't fall! Seriously, I was waiting for something to crush me, but I'm still here, fully functional. It's crazy. And awesome. And I don't even care if we do it or not, it just feels good to tell him.
I might start overthinking it in a few days, but for now I'm good. ;)
An observation: the more I open up to him, the less I want to write here...I think it gets to be too much.
He took me downstairs a few nights ago--something he hasn't done since last November. The next morning, out of the blue, I started crying. I think it was an emotional overload, because it usually takes a couple days for me to drop. Anyway, I was able to see that I didn't have to let it overcome me, I moved on and enjoyed the after effects. I missed going down there...
It feels like things are clearer, like I can finally see through the fear and insecurities. I haven't been fighting them, I just let them be and work through it.
It might be different tomorrow but at least I know I can do it.
I'm glad he took me downstairs...Yes, it was wonderful being tied up while he used the crop on my pussy (and all that other stuff), but I really needed to know I could do it, you know?
Especially since we might we might have a night to ourselves this weekend! Yep, that's right, we might be kid free this Saturday! I'm trying to not let myself get too excited (kids can be so unpredictable), but it's not working.
I'M SO FUCKING EXCITIED!
And a little nervous...
Which only makes me more excited.