Thursday, June 23, 2016

Taking a (Scary) Step

I've been thinking that I should write about sexy times between Daddy and me (there's been plenty of it going around, that's for sure), but I'm not really feeling it.

He has made some changes and we've tried some new things, and I'm freakin' horny (for the most part). I want to do more new things. I want to do it all, tonight. That's totally doable, right?

*        *        *

I might not be writing so much here, but I have been writing a lot in my journal. Words are falling out of me like you wouldn't believe, and I love it. It's not something I've always been able to do--in fact, I avoided it for many years, but that's another story.

Daddy has been curious about what I've been writing... He started reading over my shoulder the other day (talk about uncomfortable!), I immediately closed it and told him that he could read it, but I didn't want to know about it.

I mean it when I say, he can have any part of me that he wants, so he has every right to read my journal. It's just...I don't want to edit what I write, you know? Like if I'm upset, I just want to write what I feel without worrying about what he might think, or if he'll take it the wrong way, or whatever.

I'm just making excuses.

He is interested in what I think, for goodness sake!! In the beginning I could barely get him to read the blog, and it drove me nuts. I wanted my words to hold some importance, I wanted my words to be worth his time, and now they are...and...it's kinda scary. lol.

*deep breath*

Okay...

Daddy,
You can read my journal any time you want--in front of me, behind my back, over my shoulder, however you want. My words are yours.


Damn, this is hard!




16 comments:

  1. Hard, yes...but you did it!
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
  2. The hardest posts for Eric to read were the one's where I was unhappy but ultimately, it opened a door for us to have conversations we wouldn't otherwise have had. Sounds like you two are getting there. Sometimes "hard" means worthwhile. ;) Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amy, those posts/conversations seem to bring the most growth, huh?

      Delete
  3. Good for you Misty, as hard as it is. I know for us my blog was a great tool in our relationship as it gave Rick a greater insight into my thoughts and feelings.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz, I am terrible at talking, so being able to write it out helps.

      Delete
  4. It is very hard to write unedited that is. When I knew Barney was going to write something I struggled with that. On the flip side by editing it so as to not hurt his feelings, it made me think about the issue in a different way as well.

    I haven't written on my blog in months. That isn't to say there hasn't been a LOT to talk about, but I understand what you mean about not doing it here. Actually I haven't really even written to Barney in months. Talking on the other hand, OH LORD how we have talked. He does however read conversations at times between me and my friends for insight. THAT often takes some explaining! LOL

    I hope you continue to enjoy your growth. Know that we will all still be here if there is a time you need to process it out, or look for strength in struggling numbers!
    willie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. willie, I think I'll end up editing a little, perhaps it will help me to see it differently, as well...

      He's never read my email, not that I know of anyway, but I don't have many conversations via email, so probably wouldn't help him out at all.

      Delete
  5. Write WHEREVER you need to write!!! Just keep getting it out! Big scary......but GOOD step =)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Pearl, it feels so good to get it out, even if it's boring stuff!

      Delete
  6. I'm with Pearl Necklace. Write want you feel, it needs to get out. That's why I write about my thoughts at times. It's a release for the inner me. My spouse would never read my blog, then one day she was curious about something I was writing. After reading it, she had no idea I felt that way about certain things. She said she never knew I as that sensitive about life because I'm so quiet... Go figure... :)

    peace and love
    1ManView

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. 1ManView, perhaps those of us that are the quietest are the sensitive ones? :) It's nice that he wants to know what I think, it makes me feel special.

      Delete
  7. Been there. Not my favourite part, for sure.

    Love hearing about this place you are in Misty!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bleue, one reason I never kept a journal was because I was afraid someone would read it, and here I am... It's probably best that I don't think too much about it. Lol.

      Delete

I like views, but I love comments, so... say something, would ya'?