I partly blame my body--the week (maybe even a week and a half) before I start my period I am in no mood for sexual endeavors. Like, give me pain or pleasure, try your best, but it ain't happening (for me). And, by that I mean, I'm not going to enjoy it. I can't even manage to enjoy it because I don't enjoy it.
Which turns into... I'm a horrible slave. I'm a fake slave.
It takes of running from there and moves on to other areas that I could be better at. Which is pretty much everywhere.
So, my mind is to blame, as well. In fact, it's the main problem, I just can't get it on the right page. If the mind isn't engaged, the body can't get there.
The worst part is, that I want to want it. I really fucking want it. It just isn't there and it won't come back until I start my period. It is so frustrating!
To give you a glimpse...
And that was the end of that.
So, yeah, I suck.
I don't want to muck it up again. I don't know if I can bear it.