Part of my problem is that I don't know if I'm using it as a crutch or as a helping hand. Yes, yes, I could ask him where that line stands, but that would be too easy.
Perhaps it is my perspective that is off. Maybe it's not a crutch or a helping hand, maybe it's something else entirely.
I'm in danger of digressing.
He took me downstairs.
I was informed early in the day, therefore it wasn't a secret that I was "going to get it".
He tied my hands overhead and started with the magic wand. I was frustrated, 'cause I wasn't where I wanted to be mentally. I just felt blah, you know?
Off to a great start.
But, he had a plan!
Candles, were his plan.
You must know, I asked him about candles ages ago, and got my feelings hurt because he didn't seem interested.
After the wand had brought me to the point of pain and wax sprinkled my breasts (a few times), shoulders (I was standing), back, and bottom, he fucked me.
As I was picking off pieces of wax and letting them fall to the floor, when he said, "Don't forget to clean this up tomorrow."
Of course, I would be the one to clean it up (duh), but it put a smile on my face to hear it from him.
"When you get up stairs, take off your ankle cuffs. You can go ahead and take out the hook, too."
I took note that he didn't tell me to take off my wrist cuffs, and that made me smile too.
It wasn't a night when everything went perfectly, but it was perfect in itself. Definitely one that I would hate to forget.
The candles were thrilling. I knew I was safe, but still feared being burnt. Towards the end, my hands were tied to the bench so they were behind me a little, the anal hook was tied to the rafters above, duct tape was over my mouth, and I had wax dripping on me. If I didn't hold still, if I didn't offer what piece of skin he wanted...accidents happen, and I have skin and hair that I would like to keep! The fear was quite lovely.
And, as you would guess, today I'm in a good place. :)