I told myself I wouldn't come here again to do this. *sigh*
I'm tired of coming here, every fucking month, to write about how I'm struggling.
I'm tired of wanting more and hating myself for it.
I'm just fucking tired.
"More" is off the table. We are just bedroom players now.
My soul can't handle it anymore.
Because I'm the s-side I have felt like I should adjust to his D-side...that's kind of our place, right? Walk the path he gives, make his expectations yours, etc., etc..
Well, he has given me a path to walk and I've given it my best for three years and six days. His path is a nice one, that should work (I'm sure it would work for many), but I've found that I can't force myself to be something I'm not. And he can't force himself to be something he's not.
It is what it is and we are what we are.