I think when someone is interested in something, they want to learn more about it and they actually make an effort to learn about said interest...because they are interested in it.
He has not made moves to learn what goes on past the surface of D/s.
He says he wants to learn, but he's too busy. There's more important stuff to do, like watching sports and playing a game (Yes, I'm hurting). I know there's the business and loads of work that comes with having a house and kids, but I have that shit too, and I've managed to make time.
I've told him countless times what I think would help and why. I've told him my view...this is not fucking babysitting (FYI, I am an adult). He listens to me, but nothing comes of it.
The fact that I feel this way - that I'm hurt and angry, and I just want to be worth the fucking effort - makes me feel even worse. Like I'm the worst (imaginary) slave, ever.
He can watch his sports and play his game, and do whatever the fuck he wants to do, I want him to have that.
I can't help but feel neglected though.
I can't stop how I feel.
I can't stop wanting what I want.
The rule, that I'm not allowed to tell him no, was total bullshit. Like I knew it would be and hoped it wouldn't be.
I'm pretty sure he's given up on me.