I still feel stranded, I can work through it though. I can. I am. I am trying.
I need to do things that make me feel...something other than what I feel.
I'm knitting. There's ideas and creative wheels turning. It's a good zone for me to be in.
I'm running, again. I stopped because it didn't seem important anymore. I was wrong, it is important. The burn in my legs, the air in my lungs, the sweat on my brow, and the satisfaction of finishing, it reminds me that I'm alive and capable. And I'm (kinda) strong.
Most important (and because I don't have time for more), I'm working on being pleasing and pleasuring him. It's not easy with this clawing in my chest, but I'm going to fucking do this, I'm going to be that, come hell or high water.
I can succeed here. I need to succeed.