Friday, October 28, 2016

Never Forgotten

It is still quite painful but, yesterday I only let a few tears escape. I caught them, sucked them up, pushed them down and refocused. It was an improvement that today will not have, perhaps tomorrow...

We're slipping back into what we once were, more friends than lovers. I don't think he's happy, however, I'm pretty sure he prefers it this way--I don't feel the same stressed out vibe he once gave off. He sees my pain, and I see him look away.

As for me, well...the real me goes back in the box. I'm packing her up and putting her in a safe, dark, climate controlled corner. I will peek in on her from time-to-time, just to let her know that I haven't forgotten and she's still special to me.

All is not lost though. I will self-improve and be the best mom I can be.

6 comments:

  1. Huge ((Hugs)) Misty, I'm so sorry things aren't where you want them to be, but I love how you end on a positive note. Keep writing, we are here.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Roz, it isn't all bad so I'd hate to end the post with a bad note.

      I will keep writing. Thank you.

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  2. ". I don't think he's happy, however, I'm pretty sure he prefers it this way--I don't feel the same stressed out vibe he once gave off. He sees my pain, and I see him look away." <- to me seems to be a whole lot of assumptions and not actual communication...SO how do you REALLY know he isn't "sucking things up, pushing things down and refocusing" too?

    Suggestion, if tomorrow brings something different and he is around to witness it, ask him, " How does this make you feel?" ( in a kind way) Maybe he's getting to the point where he would like to talk but doesn't know how to start. Maybe not, but what do you have to lose?

    As for self improving, there are plenty of great people to look up and be inspired by. Mary Morrissey has an interesting quick read download Stronger Than Circumstance...( you have to sign up for a webinar, but she's a great speaker it is worth it). She also has a blog, where yes she peddles her books, but she's has some insights to changing the mindset that holds us back. Maybe your hubby would read the download. Mine did.

    Regardless of what you decide, I'm with Roz, keep writing.

    willie

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    1. willie, I am assuming and there is absolutely no communication going on. I call it like I see it.

      I am hurting so bad that it is taking every ounce of my strength to get through the day without crumbling into a thousand pieces. I have nothing left to work on us.

      When I'm this fragile trying to talk to him is not a good idea. You'll just have to trust me on this.

      I was actually thinking along the lines of physical and educational improvement, and finding a new purpose/focus in life, but I will look her up. Thank you!

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  3. Misty,I am sorry that you are in this place....I have no great words of wisdom, but just remember life is fluid, and sometimes has wonderful surprises just around a dark corner. I am very happy to hear that you will still be around...
    hugs abby

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