Friday, October 14, 2016

Since that night at the ballpark, I haven't wanted anyone else. Even now, when my heart is all battered and bruised, I just want him. I want his arms around me and the world to be just us...

He was right, I did want him to change. I thought we could change together and grow together--make a new and improved us.

I have grown these last few years. I have a better understanding of who I am and why I am, with that has come acceptance. I needed it, ya' know?

I think it might be better to accept that this can't be right now. We are still (kinda) young, hopefully we have a lot of time left...I know how time can evolve perspective...maybe this can happen in the future...

I'm not saying good-bye to the blog, in case you were wondering. I don't know how often I will use it, but it will be here, when I want it. Maybe I can figure out how to get my brain to do the fiction thing...

I can't read other blogs right now. I can't handle the good because they point out what I don't have--salt on a open wound kind of thing. I can't handle the bad because I absorb that shit and I have enough weight at the moment. I feel pretty horrible about this.



6 comments:

  1. I am happy to hear that you aren't going to close down the blog or say good bye, because I honestly believe it is going to serve a purpose for you again. I understand not wanting to read others' words and that is perfectly normal.

    Most of us struggle with ttwd in some way or another. Your struggles at the moment seem like an end, and perhaps in your case it is. Or perhaps it is just a pause in the timeline. Either way, know we are here for you in any capacity you need us to be.

    Stay well

    willie

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  2. Hi Misty, I too am glad you aren't closing the blog and saying goodbye and I understand not be able to read other blogs. We are here as and when you are ready.

    I am sorry you are in this place and really hope it is a pause. We have had a number of pauses and haven't practiced ttwd for so long now I can't even remember ... so I do understand and am here to email or chat.

    ((Hugs))
    Roz

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  3. Hugs, I would really miss you so selfishly I am glad you are not going away. Live as you know is full of ups and downs, pauses and re-starts.....email me at any time.
    hugs abby

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  4. Congratulations on your blog. Continue with new posts.

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  5. Thank you for your kind words, Roz, abby, and Più Bella Rio.

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