Sunday, November 6, 2016

A Sacrifice of Life for Love

I was so empty before, no direction or purpose, just filled up space in time.

I searched for a piece of hay in a heaps of straw. Seems fitting that the hay was stuck in my hair the whole time, that all I had to do was look in the mirror.

But, I found it!

I finally found who I was and a place where could belong. A place where my soul could be fed and I could grow into me.

Life pumped into my poisoned veins and I felt for the first time in I don't even know how long. Tears, so many tears, filled with hate and love. History came crashing back and I was there, bare and raw in the middle of my storm.

I made it out, albeit in pieces. It was messy. I still am messy. I will always be broken, in my own little way.

I thought my brokenness could be used and appreciated, because it's fluid - easy like a drunk slut on Halloween, thriving on a pinch of attention.

I thought my soul could shine, not like the sun, but like moonlight on a black night. It's strong, eager, and capable of many things when tended to.

It wasn't meant to be. The signs were there, I just needed to step away from the mirror.

I'm back to empty and abandoned.
Back to filling space in time and doing it on my own.
Back to a person that fills a spot on the couch, because it's impossible to find a spot at his feet that doesn't exist.



26 comments:

  1. Misty, this is so beautifully expressed and raw. I don't know what to say except that I hope writing here helps, at least in some way and I hope you will continue to share. We are here.

    ((hugs))
    Roz

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    1. Roz, it does help to let it all out. I wish I had happier things to say tho. :/

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  2. Your pain is evident in your beautiful writing....I wish I could give you a real hugs as we share a strong drink..or some ice cream. Please keep writing here....I would really miss you...
    hugs abby

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    1. abby, I would absolutely love a real hug from you and a strong drink, or two. :)

      It means a lot to me that you want me to stay. I don't plan on leaving.

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  3. Raw emotions - keep writing, let them out. Things will work the way they are supposed to - sometimes that's the hardest thing to accept.

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    1. Leigh, I kinda feel like I'm spreading sorrow writing stuff like this, but it really helps me.

      It is so hard to accept. I know I need to quit looking the other way and start living the life I have...

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    2. Should probably add that it's not a bad life. I'm pretty lucky. :)

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  4. We just want you to be happy Misty. We don't mind what you write. You are a beautiful writer though and I'm so glad to hear you will continue to write :)

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    1. Daisy, thank you for the very kind words.

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  5. Life has its up and downs, and the between. It's good that you express yourself outward then hold it in. We shouldn't feel bad to say we are not happy as we would like to be. But when you were happier, I bet you still thought of things that would of make you even happier. Right? Because who's really happy everyday of their life anyway? My spouse has a lot of chronich illness. When she is down I remind her of people we know that are worst off then she is. It helps her to remember she is not alone, and life could be worst. Plus you never know, when things can turn around for the better....

    peace and love
    1ManView

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    1. It could definitely be worse, 1ManView.

      We're working towards finding away.

      Thanks for the comment.

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  6. Hi Misty,
    Hoping you were posting for LOL Day, thinking of you. Sending positive energy your way.
    Best
    Enzo

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    1. Enzo, thank you so much! I really appreciate it.

      Hope things are looking up for you.

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  7. Hope everything is okay with you,
    hugs
    DF

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    1. DF, thank you! It means so much to me to see you care.



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  8. Everyone, I'm not up for posting but...

    We are trying out a different direction and so far it's been (mostly) good, but I'm not holding my breath.

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    1. That sounds promising Misty, thinking of you!

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    2. Daisy, I'm still unsure of how this is going to turn out. One good thing, if it doesn't work, I know I did everything I could...no stone left unturned.

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    3. Oh my gosh that makes me think your the Domme of him?

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  9. Life's a bitch, isn't she?
    Hang in there lovely!
    Hugs*

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    1. lil, I saw a quote the other day "Of course life is a bitch, if it was a slut it would be easy."

      Seems fitting, huh?

      Hug

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  10. I'm happy to meet other people from other places, I'm from Brazil, São Paulo city and I enjoy a lot of poetry in various ways and not only porn, I saw your Blog in another of an American friend, I hope you come visit me and leave a comment Have a beautiful Friday, kiss or hug !!!

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    1. Almeida, sorry it has taken me so long to reply. Thank you for stopping by and commenting!

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  11. Missing Misty...hope you return to blogging soon :)

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    1. Thank you, Natali! I really appreciate the encouragement.

      I'm in the process of writing, but it's taking some time to get the words out.

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